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being authentic

January 21, 2009

I so enjoy reading authentic blogs like sensible living, a hippie in a minivan, this inspired life, granola girl and more.  I think what really strikes me is how much of themselves the authors share.  That’s something I’m struggling with.

Perhaps one of the biggest thing that makes my blog feel odd is that I don’t share my true name.  I’m not really comfortable with doing that yet since there are some unique things that might make it easy to track me down.   And as of yet it’s only my closest friends, their readers and wordpress bloggers that know they can find me here.  I’m happy to meet strangers but for some reason I want to protect this site from my parents and siblings.  I’m not sure why but that’s the way I’ve been with most things so far in this life.  It might not make sense, but I’d like to honour that feeling, at least for now.

Feelings of vulnerability are also making it hard for me to reveal my real self.  I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, trying to figure out who I am and what I’m doing here.  While I’m comfortable to share this with people I feel connected to I’ll never know all who read my blog.  What a scary thought!  I’m not sure why I thought it would be so easy before I actually started sharing this space.

One of the main reasons I wanted to start this blog was to cultivate relationships with other likeminded people.  Where I live now doesn’t really “fit” and I’ve gained so much from interacting with the online community of unschooling mamas.  I enjoy my relationships with these folks and want to grow more, perhaps add some other folks that aren‘t yet parents to my network.  To do this I need to be sharing my authentic self.

As I mentioned,  I’m not entirely sure who my authentic self is right now but I know that the reasons I feel connected to my favourite bloggers boils down to values and lifestyle.  I’m concerned about the health of the environment – not just at a global level but at a personal and local level too.  Healthy food and crops are high on my list but so are things like community and social sustainability.

I’m hungry to put better ways of living into practice.  I want to be more in tune with the natural environment and the other people in it, including myself.  I want to be able to do more things for myself and be a better communicator.  I’ve been working on improving my listening skills for years but I’m still a novice in things like nonviolent communication, storytelling and tapping into my internal self.  I have so much to learn!

Thank you for sharing your journey and here, in this space, I welcome you to mine.

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5 comments

  1. I can relate to a lot of what you say. I haven’t shared my blog url with family or on facebook or… That need to feel safe from judgement… or simply knowing I can be myself on my blog (a public space) feels important. I know that my blog though is easily found if it’s looked for so I’ve resigned myself to the fact that anyone could be reading. I feel strongly that it may become easier for you, as it became for me, to feel more comfortable sharing in time. You may want to consider levels of privacy for your more personal thoughts. I don’t publish anything publicly that I wouldn’t want everyone to read.

    Heck, the simple fact that there is more to me than my blog is something I wish I could say all the time. Someone may read one thing I write and think that that’s all there is to me. I’m not so black and white and I don’t always have the time to share all that I wish I could. All the things that may show more honestly the depth of my personality and life.

    I every much value authenticity. I value it in friends and myself. I love that my blog allows me to do that in spite of who is reading!

    I hope you’ll pick up and enjoy NVC. It’s a great tool for communicating with and creating compassion for others but more importantly, understanding yourself and offering you the ability to have self compassion.


  2. I share my url with everyone and keep them less personal.
    It’s a place where I can vent about certain issues and share what I am learning about particular topics but it’s not very personal.
    I go the other way. I hope you find your happy medium.


  3. Hey, about the toothbrush thing you wrote on my blog. Check this out:

    I would be a little creeped out of brushing my teeth with animal hair though.

    http://images.google.com/images?um=1&hl=en&rls=com.microsoft%3Aen-us%3AIE-SearchBox&rlz=1I7GWYA&q=wood+toothbrush
    This one might have stores to buy from.


  4. Thanks for sharing. I think it is totally fine how you are feeling. Sometimes I wonder if I share too much as well. I wonder about who reads my blog and for what purpose.

    I started the blog for my own personal reasons and it became so much more especially after having a child. I didn’t share my blog with my family and friends at first. Then my husband gave out the link to his family and then it all went from there. I have to admit that sometimes I share less because I am worried what my family thinks. I am less political than I thought I would be and I haven’t shared as much about our Attachment Parenting practice lately because some people in my family think it is a disgrace that I still breastfeed my two year old. Anyway, I guess where I am going with this, is that you will find your balance of what to share and I think once you keep blogging it will become more comfortable.

    I think staying anonymous is fine if that’s what feels comfortable to you and lets you speak more freely. I am learning that what other people think doesn’t always matter as long as you stay true to your beliefs. I am sure most people will appreciate your honesty and are less critical than we think they are. Anyway, this is getting really long so I will say one final thing. I think it is great what you are sharing. You are documenting your life which in a few years you will look back and see how far you have grown. Hope you keep Blogging!!!


  5. Thank you ladies – for relating to what I wrote and then sharing your own stories so openly too. I imagine that this blog will go through its series of changes like yours have but in reflecting my life, that’s probably how it should be. It was so satisfying for me to get this and the next post out. I like that I’m not only creating a documentary of my thoughts, but writing these posts is also helping me figure things out. Yay!

    A- I hear ya! And on the NVC front I did find 2 books of all the ones you listed that are at our library. I’ll have to make a trip over there on Monday.

    M – I’m so glad you started your new blog where you are sharing more. Photos of your daily lives and commentary on what you’re thinking about are just the kind of thing I like to read these days.

    GG- I can’t imagine how hard it must be feeling you have to censor yourself for your family, especially wrt AP. It seems to be the case for so many. I don’t get why some people have such a hard time with any of that natural parenting stuff – it just doesn’t make sense to me. I like to think my family is prepared for when it’s my turn but I guess we’ll see. I’ve certainly been sharing how friends are raising their kids so at least it wouldn’t be totally new!



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